I'm sick of missing u everyday...

Today I m feeling so low as you are not with me,
I miss u every moment wherever I may be.
My mind sets no where and just thinks about you,
I want to talk a lot with you but our talks are due.
My lips are trembling and calling your name,
I cannot see you in front of me and I m going through this pain.
My tears are in trauma should they flow out or lay inside,
they want to roll down my cheeks but could not decide.
My one hand holds the other as it cannot hold yours,
It wanders for only your warm touch , I m sure.
My heart beats gets faster wishing you might be here,
giving me the feel of joy, love and care.
How much I love you is all i know,
I just feel it and I don’t want to show.
I miss you with every beat of my heart, no doubt
you are the only one of whom i can think about....

dear diary...

dear diary...I have sth to tell u..
U knw what is it? I just woke up late~ lol

As usual I spent last night by chatting wth HIM. I may say,it was the 2nd time he said about "1 love side". The usual,I might cry such as a weak girl whenever he say about it. But last night wasn't like that at all?

Oh anyway,at least I alrdy do my promise not to disturb him AFTER June. And alrdy get off from his life~
Oh God,I really have no idea what I suppose to do? since I got the same dream at the same night as he got about him... God,I hope it doesnt mean anything at all 4my case!

Now I can conclude, Love is the weirdest thing and the most abstract thing ever!

Sssshh I wasnt supposed to had crush on him! Cz I knw he doesnt like the way I liked/loved him!~
Alright! Cheers up! :)

Friday was such as an important day..

Friday was my last day visit my lovely tchr & unique school..
Oh well,i think u guys alrdy can guess what m i going to write here based on the title above~

Well..well..it was the last moment I chat about love,life & education wth her...

Oh God~I just conscious what r those mean exactly is...
So now...is time to say ->life is truly wonderful!<- so in my case,as long as we humbled our life to the God..God willing God willing give us the best life ever! So now m in the waiting room...ready 4my flight to my home^^

Attention! For people around me,pls. KEEP IN TOUCH ALWAYS! Ok? Love u all..bismillahirrgahmanirrahim...Jakarta,here I come.. (:

3 years in true friendship♥

1st of September 2008 my first day came to school as a new student.
It was my first time sat in grade 9's class...while it wasn't the class I supposed to. Cause I jumped 1 yr to grade 9 that I supposed to went to grade 8.

oh well...well..Let's focus to the story...
First time I came, there was a guy called Nat. He's Thai.
He was the first guy who said hello to me.
Till then, sb's mom introduced me closer to Nat.

One month later I backed to my actual class (grade 8).
Then it means I stayed in one class with Nat..
yu hu!!!^^ finallya I could stayed with him.

Time kept running.
One of my classmate (Pan/Thai) she told me that Nat liked me.
Oh well, I didnt care caused I still with my 1st Bf (NO need to mention who).
Then I broke up,my mind was started liking Nat more than just a friend.
But then...upsss.......what happened? we were loving each-other :O
Not longer...our relationship broke in the middle b4 the academic yr done... :/

Oh well, I did care a lot with it...
cause for me he was mean a lot... :)

New academic yr began, we were in grade 9.
On that time, I was so ridiculous when I saw him talked with Linda... :(
As the time kept running, I changed my mind. Not totally like b4.

Then, yep...I wasn't wrong when I changed my mind to that way...
cause he's mean a lot in my life as my entertaining friend who always cheers me up whenever I'm blue! And yep! He's mean so much to me as my closest friend in school b4 Sherol came...(:♥

Oh waitttttt!!!!!! But why the heck almost people thought that We are a couple?
Do we match each-other or what? :O

But now, is the time for me to leave...
and so sorry too...If I just told u suddenly when the time is approaching to my departure....sorry IF I just told u last night...and sorry too IF that news surprised u so much...

here it is...I dedicate our childhood's photo in grade 8.

::Taken by Linda & edited by Linda Saysouline...

Maaf, IF I.....

Never say goodbye...bcause goodbye means going away...
and going away means-->"forgetting!<-- I know someday u'll have a beautiful life... I know u'll b the sun in somebody else's sky... The hurt to fade began and it was easier to just let go... At least I thought it was.. But in every boy I met in the next few yrs, I found myself looking for u... and when the feelings got too strong, I'd write u another letter... And yep! I never send them in fear of what I might find. By then, u'd gone on with ur life and I didnt want to think about u loving someone else... I wanted to remember us like we were that last May. I dont want to ever forget that...

Chubby.....

I don't mean to run...
but every time u come around,
I feel more alive than ever!
and I guess it's too much...

Maybe we're too young?
or maybe this's one love side?

and I don't even know what's real..
But I know I never wanted anything so bad...
I've never wanted anyone so bad...

Sorry chubby,IF I...... you,but this's about heart! :X

GALAU!

Dear diary,
dear diary ku ingin cerita kepadamu
tentang nya yang dulu singgah di hatiku
sejak itu hidupku jadi bahagia
karena dia slalu ada di hidupku...
tapi kini.....

Ikan Qoi, don't ever hurt sb's heart anymore...

jangan sampai aku melihat air di matamu...
hanya boleh ada senyum yang menghiasi bibirmu.
Adakah bintang di binar matamu?
adakah pelangi di sudut bibirmu?
dan jangan pernah kau menyakiti hati siapa pun (ikan!)

Oh GOD...i really apologize YOU if I just hurt YOUR people's heart....T_T
GOD, I LOVE YOUR PEOPLE... (:
so pls. forgive what I just did.. :/

So, what else I can do then?

Selamat malam bulan....terangilah malam ini agar tak lagi suram
selamat malam bintang...temanilah malam ini agar hati menjdi tenang
selamat malam sayang...tidurlah yang nyenyak dan mimpikanlah aku datang
hadir dalam surga mimpimu dan temanimu sampai pagi menjelang... (:


Really can't say anything after hurt sb's heart...well,even he did hurt me more than I just did hours ago... :/

oh yeah! I should cheer up again!^^
love...love...love...love...loveeeeeeee....Love u Chubby!♥

I can bet this night is truly BORING! :/

Oh GOD, pls forgive what I just said to my ex (A*****).
well...well.. even though I never loved him as I supposed to,I never had intention to hurt him even once...
oh GOD, r these my faults? T_T
oh Well,I'm not supposed to feel guilty like this...
cause it's all about heart...
yeah...>>it's all about heart!<< 19th of August 2010,I supposed to felt the beat of love that he said to me... while I didn't :/ sssshhhhhh.........I was such as ridiculous that time and even now! :@ oh GOD,do YOU judge me as the wrong person in this situation? T_T hiks...hiks...hiks...

I'm so sorry...pls. forgive me too A*****